ghost_hare_22 (ghost_hare_22) wrote in gh22_fanfic,

I Never Wanted - Chapter 44

'Where have you gone sweet love?
The winter winds are blowing.
Our dancing days are over,
Now that our shade is raining in scarlet waves...'


Kitty was nauseous, holding her mouth as she struggled out of the tent they had together, running over the still sleeping bodies of children around her. Bile hot and scalding was filling her mouth, she powered to the small row of bushes that served as a modesty screen for the younger children.
Finally there she emptied the burning contents of her mouth, the retching shaking her body as each wave passed through her. Her bladder full pinched as she shifted herself closer to the ground, the sense of wetness between her legs growing as she struggled to keep her body under her own control.
After thirty seconds of struggle she had her trousers down, her underwear already soaked with urine and she was *still* throwing up. An early rising child popped around the edge of the bushes, seeing her crouched over both ends emitting foulness it ran screaming to the nearest adult. Lucky for her it was Bobby, his calm voice reached her ears as she finally finished voiding her bowels and stomach. Strong hands cleaned her up, picked her up and re-dressed her; the cold sting of her underwear making her wince. When she felt better she'd be changing them immediately.

Lifted up she saw the world spin for a moment then she was back under canvas. Voices were talking about her and something was injected into her arm, she saw Peiter's concerned face hover over her own for a moment before she faded out into the welcome relief of sleep. Her stomach calmed for now she slid into the welcome dark.

Peiter watched as Kitty slept, her body wasn't reacting the way he'd thought it would. He'd seen his cousins and sisters carry children but they'd never been as bad as this. He was worried and he looked to the medic Emma had brought with them. The small woman was a marvel, she could touch and diagnose what was wrong with the patient. Francis her name was, and he was about to ask her what was wrong when she just reached out to him and pulled him to sit by Kitty's bed. Standing above the pair of them she smiled at him, her voice calm but clear in the now noisy morning.
"I know you're worried Pete, but she's okay; really she's fine. Pregnancy is different for everyone and she's just got a little rougher road than usual that's all." Francis pulled a small camp chair over and sat in front of him, her face open and her demeanor calm. "There's things you'll need to know Peiter, especially if you stay out here for any length of time. She'll need to be checked over by a doctor at her third month, then her sixth and finally at her eighth. Do you have a doctor at here with you? I mean on Xaviers staff?"
"We did but she left, she ran before the soldiers attacked us. So no, we don't have a doctor." Peiter felt useless, for all his strength he couldn't help the woman he loved when it mattered. She was carrying his child and she was suffering because of it, Francis saw his face drop and she patted his hand.
"Not to worry she looks a strong woman, besides women have been giving birth long before there were *any* doctors around to help. I'll write some things down for you both, and we'll get her on some suppliments I've brought for the kids. You'll cope," a smile lit her features a twinkle settling in her eyes as she patted his large hand. "Besides, she loves you, and that'll get you through the worst of it." With that she left him alone with Kitty, her mind working on the medicare package she'd have to put together for her.

Kitty still had eight months of pregnancy to go through and she might be sick throughout all of it. Peiter ran his hand through her hair and stroked her clammy skin, she was so strong inside but she was so fragile when she was ill. When she'd caught the flu she'd been the one who'd taken twice as long as anyone else to recover. Jean had said it was because she'd lived in a different area and she hadn't come across the strains of virus that were attacking her. She had to build immunity to everything and as such she'd suffer worse than everyone until she had some resistance to the diseases that ran through the school. He'd been with her when she'd been ill, making her smile, making her laugh, just sitting with her quietly as she worked her way to recovery.
Now he sat with her until she came round, stroking her skin with his hands, they found their way to her stomach and rested there protecting their child as her eyes finally focussed on his features.

"Hey," she heard the roughness of her own voice and winced at the sound of it. "Could you get me some water?" Peiter left her side for a second as she shifted in the bed, pulling herself upright. Bringing the water over to her parched lips, holding it away as she reached out to it.
"Sip it, don't gulp," his voice filled with concern for her, her eyes met his and saw his fear for her refelcted back at her. She did as he asked her, sipping the cool water and feeling much better for the slightly lemon taste to it. There were things that needed to be said and now seemed to the perfect time to do it, they were alone, there was no-one else asking them to do anything.
"Kitty....about the baby...." Kitty watched as he tried to find the words that were evading him, she didn't try to find them for him; he knew what he wanted to say to her.

How should he tell her? That he thought Logan's plan was the best thing they should do, that they should leave here as soon as possible. They'd been discussing it together the night Kitty had told Rogue about her pregnancy. Logan wanted him to leave as soon as possible, they had nothing left to look after but each other. Kitty was *his* responsibilty and he *had* to care for her now not everyone else. But he knew that she'd never leave the children around her, he'd seen the set up that Emma had. They could take the kids or as many as wanted to go with her, but he really didn't want to be dragging around a rag tag bunch of kids with him. That way they'd get caught, an the way things were heading it wasn't an option for his child.
He'd started his words about their baby and Kitty was waiting for him to finish his words, she never tried to tell him what he was saying. She *always* let him find the words for himself and he loved her for that.
"Kitty, I want us to leave. I want us to leave when the rest of Emma's people get here." She smiled and was about to answer when he put his large hand up and she stilled her voice. His eyes grew solid and stony as he spoke to her, "I mean just *us*, no children, no-one else." Kitty blinked at him as she let the words settle on her mind before answering, he could see the confusion cover her as she worked it out.
"But Pete we *need* others around us, we can't watch our backs alone. Besides the children have no-one else, where would they go?"
Peiter was prepared for this arguement, "Emma will take them, she has a huge network out there Kitty, if we stay in a large group we'll be a bigger target. Now the children are listed as dead...." he let his silence speak for him. The sense of it finally hit her and she visably paled again.
"I see..." she wrapped her fingers over her own stomach, "Everyone believes we're dead don't they?" She looked up at the father of her child as she realised her mother and father would never see their grandchild. They'd never even know she'd survived the attack, to the rest of the world she'd died three days ago. To be caught by anyone who'd been dealing with Xavier was a death sentence.
"Okay, but we wait to see who gets here, Rogue and Logan are still out there, same as Jubilee and Hank. At least Hank and Jubes had one of Emma's people with them, Rogue and Logan could be anywhere. They might even have been captured..." She really didn't want to think about that, it made her stomach flip and her colour drained making Peiter hug her to him.
"I'm sure they'll be alright, after all it was Logan's idea that we leave as soon as possible." Kitty's head snapped up and looked Peiter deep in the eye.
"Logan it was his idea for us to leave as soon as possible, he told me if you wouldn't..." he paused and she knew which conversation he was replaying in his mind and she stroked his hand to comfort him. "Anyway he told we should get out from under Xavier as soon as possible. He even had a distraction planned for us both, something about the next mission we went out on together. He never did give me all the details." Kitty sat there shocked, her emotions ran through the gamut of expression, finally resting on sorrow. When she did look at Peiter her eyes were clouded with tears and she reached out to the comforting shape of Peiter.
"We left them behind, oh God Peiter we left them to fight behind us!" Peiter didn't know what to say to her to stem the tears, she'd seen the news footage, she'd seen the devastation that had been the mansion. Could they have survived that? Ororo had seen them before she'd run, she'd told them that they'd headed into the woods but they could've been caught. Kitty's life and her childs could have been at the cost of Rogue's and Logan's own and if they had fallen she had a duty to survive and thrive. When her tears had dried she faced the world, feeling a little stronger, a little more together.

She knew what Xavier had done to them all, the deals he'd made, the people that even now would be searching for them. They *had* to leave as soon as possible, they'd wait for the rest of Emma's group to get here then they'd split up. The children would be mixed in with Emma's own, given safe passage to safety somewhere in the world. But for them they'd be running for a while, their faces were known and as such they had to stay away from the children.
"You're right we can't stay; we have to go when Emma's people get here." Her eyes strayed to the open tent flaps and the others she'd have to talk to and convince. "Come on, we have work to do." All around them children were gathering for breakfast and lessons, the sound of laughter one that would bolster them both over the coming days.


Jean watched Scott eat, he was doing better now, his motor function wasn't perfect yet but he was doing well. The small house she'd gotten them in Yamika was easy to control, she'd given everyone the impression that Scott was partially sighted. That they'd been here for at least six years in the summer months and had finally decided to move here permanantly. She even had the mail man calling her by her first name, warping reality around her was something she found increasingly easy and it was this that she felt uneasy about.

Scott for his part played the dutiful husband, the ring she wore had been someone elses, she'd forced a couple to hand over their wedding rings. She'd even gotten a preacher to marry them, several strangers had been roped in to be witnesses. The ink was still wet when they'd rolled into the property they were currently occupying. Her gaze went around the room and even though it wasn't to her tastes Jean found herself almost relaxing in this place. It could be *home* and for that she was grateful, Emma knew where she'd been heading for and as far as she was concerned she was free of everything. Jean didn't want to even hear the name of the X-Men or it's creator. She was dead to him as was Scott, maybe one day they'd come back but not now. She had some work to do on herself and Scott before they could even think about facing upto what they'd done to each other.

As he forked another lot of scrambled egg into his mouth she smiled at him, he was coming along fine. His memory would always be gappy but she knew the man he was under all the lies and deceit he'd told himself. Xavier had a lot to answer for and Emma had told her one way or another she'd find out what happened to the man who'd made her into a killer.
Flicking through the small towns papers Jean noticed the amount of stress and trouble that was building around her home. She could influence only so much and not be noticed, her eyes went to the black glasses that Scott wore. His eyes were under *her* control and as such they would pass for human, she'd defend her territory and her lover. She loved him, needed him and Logan had made her face upto the truth of herself and one day she'd repay the compliment.

But for now she had enough to do, taking a napkin she wiped the little crumbs of egg from Scotts chin and listened to his mumble of thanks. He took her hand in his and kissed the back of it, they had a life one that would be difficult but they'd survive the worst the world had to offer mutants. She'd make sure of that.


When Mason pulled out of the truck stop everyone waved at the man who'd brought a pair of wanderers back to the fold. Hank introduced Howard and he instantly liked the man who was looking around the truck stop as if he wanted to be out of there as soon as possible.
Jubilee and Marie went to get food, coming back with several foil containers filled with hot food. Logan sat in the driving seat and put Mason's cap on Hanks head, covering his ears and blue hair. "Looks good on ya Hank, all we need now is some overall's and you'd pass for a human in the dark." The smile that was on Logans face wasn't one that was poking fun at the large man but it had genuine warmth to it. Hank pulled the visor down a little more and settled back into the passenger seat, the map on his large lap and the route planned out in his head.

Howard was getting some rest along with Xavier, who'd had his meds again an was out for the foreseeable future, Logan would've preferred it if he was 'out' permanantly but Hank was right they had to get him to the meet-up first. Then everyone had a part in the decision, it *had* to be done this way, it was the only way it was fair. Something that Xavier had preached about but never done himself.
The days travel went quickly, talking about plans and if everyone got away, when Howard woke and ate he told everyone about the large organisation Emma was part of. The kids would be scattered across the globe, sent to various schools and academy's. There was an underground that was working without the knowledge of Xaiver or The Brotherhood, but it was tenious and if it fell now they'd all suffer.

When Howard was told who Logan was he did pale a little and told Logan how close he'd been to destroying the system himself. Why Emma had been so scared of meeting him and the reason why she'd bargained with him instead of killing him straight off. She'd known about the kids he'd gone after and a little about his past; when she'd been working on her sheilding as a student of Xaviers she'd caught something about him. Information about a mutant he desperately wanted to get his hands on, when he had him he could make his dream a reality. Howard told Logan that all of her operatives knew of 'Wolverine' and had standing orders not to approach or hinder him in *any* way.

Logan had driven the route that Howard and Hank had pointed out to him, it was leading them to Grass River Park. They'd be meeting up along the way with others but by the end of the day they should be within reach of everyone. The route they were on would get them to the campsite by tomorrow morning if they went straight through the night.
They stopped only to empty bladders and refuel, the money they had was enough to fill the tank and several spare canisters. Jubilee showed him the supplies she'd bought and he had to say he'd been impressed at her sense. Marie was even happy enough to go to the small store at the last filling station to stock up herself. She knew that they wouldn't be back in civilisation for a while and she got several things Jubes had missed, toothpaste for one.

It was when Jubes was driving that he caught the conversation bewteen the two of them, as if Jubilee had waited for him to drop to sleep before talking to her about it. Marie knew he wasn't fully asleep, only napping, still alert for danger but it was her turn to navigate. Hank, Howard and him were behind them, Jubilee was snacking on somthing sugar coated and the smell was keeping him awake.

"Rogue...did you go through Ottowa?" Marie watched her friend as she tried to find an easy way to tackle the thing she wanted to tell her. Her scent was filled with ozone, showing she was stressed about it.
"Jubes...just tell me. What happened to you both? Did you have any trouble?" Logan listened to Jubilee's heartbeat increase as she tried to clear her throat, her scent hiked and both Logan and Marie caught the undertone of fear in it. "What is it Jubes? Just spit it out."
Jubilee took a look in the rear-view and saw Logan sprawled out with Hank by his side, his chest rising and falling easily as they ate the miles up. She should be safe to say what she'd been thinking all the way from Ottowa.
"I saw Logan in Ottowa." Marie just looked at her, it was the truth, what she'd said was the honest truth, her eyes flicked over nervously to see Marie looking straight through her silently. Her eyes were flinty and were boring into her skin.
Choosing her words carefully Marie answered her friend.
"What do you mean you *saw* Logan in Ottowa?" Jubilee settled herself into the seat a little more as she changed gears and powered past a truck.

"When I went to the mall just outside Ottowa, huge place, biggest thing I've seen outside of L.A. Anyway I went to get some cash and supplies...." Marie knew of Jubilee's history and what that might have entailed.
"You got caught?" Jubilee's head snapped round and Marie actually heard her tendons wrench as she did it.
"Hell No! Well almost....that's what I wanted to tell you but I had to wait until 'tall dark and hairy' was asleep."
"Go on."
"Well I got grabbed by a security guard, I kind of freaked out after seeing a news report on the tv in the pharmacy. I just ran out of there feeling the worlds biggest leper, an this guy caught me." Marie waved her hand as if to say 'and?', Jubilee continued. "Well he took me to one side an asked if I was okay, thing was he 'looked' like Logan. I mean he *really* looked like Logan, he even ran like him."

Marie could sense the curiosity from Logan behind her and her own was peaked by the information. "Jubes, do you trust me?" Jubilee gave a little smile and her fear dropped a little.
"Course, you've been nothing but helpful since you got back to us babe. I mean without you opening our eyes up to what Xavier was doing to us we'd have been sheep for the slaughter back there. So yeah I trust you." Marie stripped her glove off and flexed her hand over Jubilee's own. She lightly touched the back of her hand and Jubilee felt a slight drain, a swift lightheadedness that faded quickly. But what Marie had gotten from her was playing inside her skull, the security guard, the look of him, the image of an older Logan. It shook her and she nudged the possum Logan.
"Hey wake up back there, there's somethin ya'll should see." Logan's eyes snapped open and he grasped Marie's bare hand, she pushed the image of him dressed in a security guard uniform through to his mind. It looked like him but older, grey already salting the unruly hair, the same dark eyes as his own. But the chin was different, his was much more square, this versions narrowed in the wrong place but it was obviously his son. Marie and Logan locked eyes and Jubilee could feel the air begin to turn dense around them.

"So is he a relation? Did I see something for real or was it my stressed out mind playin' tricks on me?" Marie turned to her friend and her mouth smiled a painful grin to her.
"Yeah it's a relation Jubes, one that ah think we'll be catchin up with somewhere along the line." Logan tightened his hand on hers, his past was still out there, he'd been all over the damn place and he was bound to have some children out living in the world. Logan sent her his love through his skin, that he loved *her*, that she was the most important thing to him right *now*. Smiling a pained smile she let him hold onto her skin as they drove onward into the night.
Jubes saw the skin on skin action and smiled at them both, "So when were you goin' to share this little miracle with us all?" Marie brought her bare hand up to the light that was flooding in through the windscreen. Her face showing a mixture of relief and sorrow to her friend.
"Never Jubes, it was mine to show to whoever ah wanted to. Xavier told me ah'd never control it, thing is he did that to keep me under *his* control. Logan taught me how to do it, taught me a lot of other things too...." Her smile grew predatory and Jubilee whistled under her breath.
"Let's leave that till we get somewhere safe," she took the turning that would lead them to the meet-up. "You're not the only one with something to look forward to you know." Marie smiled as she worked it out, her mouth about to congratulate her on snagging Howard when Logan beat her to the punch.
"Make sure he keeps his gloves on, claws marks take time to heal up. Trust me." With that he squeezed Marie's hand once more and let it drop back to her lap. Marie quickly did a double take and saw the huge form of Hank seated next to Logan. The rounded claws on his finger ends would make a mess of her skin if he lost control of himself. Doing the math of his size she quirked an eyebrow at Jubes, "You sure you'll cope with him?"
Jubes's smile was as wide as the windscreen in front of her. "Oh Yeah! You never did see my 'toy' did you? I just hope he comes with the same 'buzz' function." Her smile had Marie in stitches, the laughter woke up both Howard and Hank. They spent the last few hours of the drive filling the air with jokes and tales of late night assignations. Even Howard joined in, telling them how he'd used his powers to pick a woman who'd give him the best ride of his life. Thing was he hadn't looked far enough, her husband had walked in on them and he'd run for the hills. From then on he'd kept himself to himself, that was unless someone approached him. He flicked his gaze to Marie but the growl from Logan soon made it shift away. She laughed and soothed the younger man's shattered calm, "It's okay Howard, he won't kill ya today, ah know who ah belong to, just like he does." The look that passed between them spoke of intimacy that went beyond the physical, into the soul of the person they loved. It generated a warmth that filled the cab as the sun rose over the horizon.

The last few miles flew by, the camp was visable from the roadway and someone morphed out of the ground to meet them. When Howard showed his face the grimness of the greeter faded and they were allowed to pass unmolested down into the campsite. They had news to share and to hear but at the moment they needed to rest. It had been a long journey but it wasn't over by a long stretch.
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