ghost_hare_22 (ghost_hare_22) wrote in gh22_fanfic,

I Never Wanted This For You (Chapter 48)

 Chapter 48
'When the worst is over my love,
When the cooling touch has passed,
There will be nothing but us,
In the midnight garden.
Where all lovers seek to be.'

The pyre burned well, brushwood ate the remains quickly until their was nothing left but ashes. One of the adults went back for the kids, they saw the pyre burning, to know the man that had caused this pain for them was finally dead. Gone, where he could no longer use them in his games of power.

Logan for his sins had been seen by every child, their eyes logging who had been the executioner in this tale. Who had been the axeman who'd saved their skins from the Big Bad Wolf, he met every single look unrepentant. And in a way it soothed him to know that they had seen the truth, he knew that they'd hear of the things he'd said. The reasons why he'd acted the way he had and they'd keep a distance between themselves and him.

The adults though, they were a different matter, Ororo looked small, as if her life had been extinguished along with Xavier. It was only the looks of others that were keeping her upright. She was broken. Emma took her away when the emotion became too much for her, when the children began throwing sticks to the fire to feed it further. The symbol of the bogeyman now fixed in their minds as a man in a wheelchair with a sweet smile.

Hank and Jubilee disappeared soon after, Hank guiding the small frame of Jubilee away back to the camp. The air of care and growing love around them easy to see, Pete just picked up Kitty, his skin shining in the firelight's embrace. Making him seem a statue of some ancient god come down to earth, plucking his maiden from the world and carrying her home.

But it was Marie he was looking at most, her back straight, eyes locked onto the flames as if daring them to finish without destroying every last morsel of the figure she'd become to despise so much. She'd changed, grown, developed into something even he wasn't so sure of anymore. The girl he'd known was long gone, she wasn't the small terrified thing he'd had to care for; she was his *mate*, his equal. He'd seen the need for death in her gaze as they'd both stood in front of Xaiver, her need to feel his blood over her hands. And they both were speckled with it, his shirts, his hands, his jeans showing the aterial splashes. Even Marie's white streaks were showing red in places where the blood had hit her, but she hadn't wavered her gaze from the death he'd metered out. No one had. Everyone had watched the death, seen Xavier suffer, knowing that the death he'd had was nothing to the suffering he'd caused. It was over, for now.

When the ashes dropped low and embers burned bright, two teenagers came up with water, putting the steel containers in the ashes to heat. Yet another brought towels and soap handing them off to Marie, the girl who carried them just saying 'Thank you.' to Logan before she left. The air had cleared, the threat had receeded for a while and they had space to sit in. How long was another matter entirely but for now they had the night and it would have to be long enough.


Hank and Jubilee moved through the camp, listening to the quiet sobs and tears. Grief was a natural reaction to the news but it was in the snatched pieces of conversation that showed the difference.
Children were grieving for their families, the news of their deaths had reached them, family members would know that they were gone. The school had been turned into a martyrs shrine, they could *never* go home, never contact those that had loved them. Teenagers were comforting those they could, others were explaining what options they had now. To leave to go somewhere else, to start a new life, with a new family. Some were hopeful, others sad but most were numb, it'd take something from a leader they knew to explain it all to them. To point out the danger that they were still in but Hank knew they would scatter across the globe. A ragtag bunch of mutants who would forever be tainted by the knowledge that their so called 'saviour' had put a price on each and every head he'd had under his roof.

Trust would be a hard commodity to earn from these survivors and Hank could see the hardness in several gazes as him and Jubilee walked by. No one asked about Xavier, they all knew he was gone,the way it had happened had gotten back too. Yet it wasn't the usual way kids described death, they did it quickly, no detail, just 'Logan cut him to ribbons and burned what was left.' The reality of it would come clear one day but for now they were alone, free and lost at the same time. Hank could sense the confusion around him making his head spin and it wasn't until Jubilee pulled on his hand that he noticed her again.

"Hey, you okay up there?" Her smile was small, just at the edge of her mouth, her eyes a little distant themselves. Hank found himself really looking at her, the woman who'd brought him across the border. A small fragile creature, her face like a porcelain doll, even smudged with dirt she looked wonderful to him. As his grip on her hand increased she opened up that smile so it covered her features. Seeing his distress she pulled him toward their allocated space, "Come on we've got a promise to keep."

Speechless for a moment Hank allowed himself to be led across the cool ground, the look on her face determined and happy. Hank's stomach flipped as he realised this may not be what he thought it was and he brought Jubilee to a halt.
"We don't have to do this Jubilee." She turned on him, her smile losing some of it's brightness.
"I said we don't have to...I don't want you to do this unless you want to, today has been rather fraught and I don't want to confuse it any further."

Jubilee just looked at him, her eyes scanning the frown that was covering his features. Her own smile dropping away to be replaced by a seriousness and a whispering voice. "Look, I *know* today hasn't been the best day of my life, shit I've just watched the only man I thought I could trust get shredded by my best friends hubby. Right now what I *need* is a little *comfort*, something I *thought* we were agreed on back in the truck. But if you think it's a bad move then fine, I'll leave you alone and go do what I need to do but life goes on Hank. An after what I've seen today I deserve to live every god damn minute of it. So it's your choice, I'm offering, I'm healthy and you 'don't' scare me, nothing about you frightens me. Not the teeth, not the size and definately not the *fur*."

Just the way she said 'fur' made Hank's blood go south, whatever he'd done to deserve such a prize he had no idea but it had been a long time since anyone had even held his hand never mind offered him what Jubilee was offering now.
"So what's it going to be Hank? Life or death?"

It took a heartbeat before she got her answer, he just pulled her to their tent, tonight was about 'life', about surviving. After all that had been thrown at them they were still alive and it needed celebrating, Hank only hoped Jubilee could cope with him. If not he didn't know what he'd do, probably mug a moose more than likely. Turning to see Jubilee's face and the smile that was lodged on it, her whisper reaching his ears and making his blood pound. "About damn time too!"


Riding high in Pete's arms Kitty felt like a queen, his gentle nature showing through at the oddest of times. Like now, his shape and skin made him easy to recognise and several kids had come up to them both. Asking if what had happened was truely what had happened, that Xavier was dead and he couldn't come back to hurt them. He'd just answered them as gently as possible, telling them that yes, Xavier was dead, gone. That he was no longer there to hurt anyone and that they were free now to make a new life somewhere else. Just the way he said it made Kitty's heart ache, he'd make a wonderful father and her heart gave a little twitch.

They'd been made a toy of Xavier and they were still dodging around the question themselves, there'd been so much to do that it had been lost in everything. They'd slept in the same tent but not together, as if there was a barrier between them and it was the conversation that was unspoken that was laying there keeping them apart.

Oh they knew that they loved each other, that they really cared for each other but the physical part of their relationship had been soured by Xavier's meddling. While he'd been alive Kitty couldn't trust herself, wouldn't trust herself, it could have been conditioning, influence whatever. Just when it entered her head she fought against it, a reaction to her being used the first time round. Yet Pieter had been nothing but calm with her, holding her, comforting her, telling her that it was okay, that he could wait until she was ready. He had his own doubts about himself too she knew that and it was time to air them. Now Xaiver was dead they could move on, say what needed to be said, they had a child to raise between them and it mattered that their relationship was as strong as it could be.

When they entered their small quarters Pieter put Kitty down on the chair, his face looking calm but his body tense. His hands resting on the arms of the small camp chair he looked broken, as if the weight of what had happened to them all was just settling on him. Kitty just reached out to him, her fingers weaving through his dark hair as his skin returned to normal.
"Hey, it's okay Pete, we're okay." The big man rested his head in her lap, kneeling in front of her, shudders ran through his broad shoulders and Kitty felt his breath on her as it heaved in and out.

Silence reigned for a while just the breathing of Pieter in her lap and the sound of kids outside getting into sleeping bags.
After a few minutes of stroking his hair she felt him slump, relaxing everything he'd been holding tight. His face resting at the apex of her thighs and he surprised her by nuzzling her there. His arms kept her in the chair, just his physical presence as he nuzzled her sex through her clothing. Hearing his voice rumble through her as he called to her, "Katya....please....".

It was like lightning, the freedom of movement, the energy to act flowing through her veins. Kitty pushed up off the chair, sliding her jeans off with her underwear. Pieter taking them down her legs just as quickly, getting them over her sneakers. Then attacking his own clothing as she shed her tops, soon they were naked just panting and looking at each other. Unsure about whether to touch and where to touch, they'd made a new life together but neither of them could remember it. *This* would be the defining time, the moment they'd tell their son or daughter how they were made and why.

Both of them had been used, abused, mentally raped and sullied by the man who'd told them that he had their best interests at heart. Yet they'd both listened to Logan, both of them had had their suspicions before they'd been used. It had been 'real', now the living came next and it was this that was frightening them into inaction.

Pieter reached out first, pulling her off the chair and into his lap, her knees falling to either side of his thighs. No words, nothing but his touch on her skin, the warmth of him, the solidity of his frame and the love she could feel coming from his heart. Pieter *loved* her no matter what had happened to them, he was willing to do whatever it took to make her happy. Just as much as she was for him, settling herself on his lap Kitty let her moist sex touch his stiffening length beneath her. Moving her hips slowly along him, the soft rasp of her hair and skin on him making Pieter grip her hips tightly.

Lifting herself slightly presenting her chest to him to suckle, which he did with an aching tenderness that filled her entire body with fire. So wrapped up in his ministrations that she missed him sliding into her heated centre until he shifted her back down. The sense of fullness something she could never describe well enough, just the feeling of being complete. Eye's locked on each other, each watching the reaction of their partner, the flush of heat, the hiss of pleasure/pain. Slowly, they worked together, his hands on her hips guiding her along his length, one thumb locked onto her clit as she moved. Each deep pass making her insides quake, the shivering muscle under her gaining tension as she saw Pieter sweat. The heat in his gaze that had only been for her finally loosed on her naked skin, his breath bellowing out of him as she writhed on the solid member inside her quivering walls.

A brush of her nipples was all it took to take her over the edge, her cry muffled by his mouth, his tongue writhing with her own as he thrust hard underneath her. One hand on her back the other at her hip keeping her on him as she rode out her orgasm, the sides of her sex flexing against his hardening heat. Soon after his grip dug into her, his hand at her back resting on her neck as he pulled her down hard into his hips. The grunt of air that left his mouth telling her she'd won, she'd finally loved him, taken him willingly. Even as she felt him pulse deep inside her channel Kitty gripped him tight, moving on him still grinding her hips down in an effort to squeeze every last peice of pleasure from him.

Finally moving his mouth from hers, Kitty saw the barrier fall, saw the ghost between them leave. Nothing was left but the love they had, resting on his neck she let herself be held. Wrapped up in his embrace as her own body still wrapped around him, her knees raised so her feet were on the floor. Sat in his lap, naked, fucked, pregnant and happy, things might have started off badly but it was a good place for a new one.


Ororo watched the rest of the camp get ready for bed, Kitty and Pieter passed her by, not seeing her, having only eyes for each other. It was then that the loneliness hit her, she'd always been aloof, the goddess, the calm one. Yet no one really knew the truth to her soul, that she craved the same as anyone else, needed the same as anyone else. When Xavier had been killed she'd been appalled, the way Logan had left him to suffer for so long before he'd died. Then seeing him take out his penis and piss on the remains of the once great man had turned her stomach. She'd left then, turned her back on them all and gone to her tent.

Yet beneath all the civilised notions she had she knew why Logan had done what he'd done. He'd been making a point, showing the world what it meant to get in his way, to take what had been his. On one level she could forgive him but on another she would never look at him the same way again. He'd proved her right in her estimation of him, he was an 'animal' and he'd taken Rogue down with him.

Shaking her head Ororo tried to get the plans straight in her head, Kurt was coming with her group. Their goal was Africa, she'd take all the children of colour with her, those who didn't want to go back to the reservations. There were several who did yet Ororo couldn't see Emma allowing that to happen, Emma was a great co-ordinator. Her skills in moving and guessing what was coming next was almost frightening, when Xavier was being killed Emma's face had been set solid. No emotion had played across it, she'd just taken everything in, Emma knew something about Xaiver that she hadn't. Only now was it coming clear what that something had been, the day she'd been sent to spy on her school came back to haunt her. The words she'd used to her, telling her she was welcome to return anytime she wanted to. She had been welcome, because she'd known that Ororo had been living with the devil himself.

It could've been so different, worked out in a different way but no, she'd lost everything she'd ever had all because of a mans warped dreams.

The knock on her flap when it came was soft and Ororo turned up the lantern so she could see who was there. A blue face came into her space and Ororo smiled, Kurt. He was always there when you needed someone, he moved slowly, cautiously and perched on the end of her bed.
"How are you feeling?" Just like Kurt to go for the truth, Ororo felt her eyes sting with bitter tears. How could she explain the pain, the hatred she felt, the betrayal of all she'd been working for over the last ten years. That all the time she'd been working for peace, the very man who'd sent her out was working for himself.

As the first tear fell from her eye Kurt just gripped her and pulled her into his arms. Everything was sorted, the children would be leaving tomorrow, split up and scattered across the world. She'd be going back to Africa, her gifts to be used in the places where they were needed the most. She just let herself collapse, he skies darkening outside the tent as her emotions ran free. A rainless storm raging overhead, her own tears providing the rain that was now soaking into the shoulder of Kurt as he rocked her back and forth. A prayer whispered into her ears as she let her pain flow out of her, for all the things she could have done if she'd taken off the blinkers that had been put on her.

She was as guilty as the rest of them, she'd known in her way, suspected things but she'd shrugged them off. Xavier would never do that but the things that Kitty had revealed to her eyes on the discs Xavier had kept hidden spoke for him. It had been there in black and white and now she knew why Magneto had opposed them at every turn. It's hard to realise that it wasn't you that was saving the world but your enemy. An for a while she'd lean on whoever was willing to help her, as soon as the land beneath her feet was the soil Xavier had plucked her from, she would cope. But not now, it was too raw, too painful to admit her mistakes, so she would hide in the words of a mutant priest who really looked like the devil himself.


The ash was cool now, the embers long past heating the water that steamed gently in the cool night air. The first bite of autumn was in the breeze as the dark clouds gathered overhead. With the first flash of lightning Logan looked up, his naked skin lit by the fire above them. They both knew who was bringing it but they didn't begrudge her the sorrow.

Logan's clothes were folded by the towels resting on the chair that had been Xavier's throne. Washed down first after his corpse had been laid on the pyre. Taking the soap in hand Marie dunked it into the hot water, bringing it out and making a lather between her hands. Walking toward Logan with the soft bubbles fragrancing the air. He didn't expect this, but she wanted to do this, smoothing the soap over his skin, taking a cup and dipping it into the container at his side and wetting him down. The soap sliding over his skin, cleaning off the blood, dirt and emotion that was still on him. Her face concentrating on cleaning him, of taking the past away, flushing him clean of everything.

Moving around him she dipped water over him before adding the soap, rubbing the stubborn stains away, massaging his shoulders for him. Listening to his purr as she slid her hands over his back, nails dragging across his skin and loosening the dirt there. Covering him in suds, doing the backs of his thighs, his backside, calves and feet. Moving round to wash his groin, seeing him swell at her touch as she cleaned every nook and cranny of him. When he was covered in soap she took the cup and let the warm water run down him. Seeing it take all the dirt and blood away, watching as it ran into the ashes, mixing with it. The hairs of his body trapping some so she had to run her hand down him to get it to flush away. Marie covered every part fo him, washing the soap away until he was as clean as the day in the rain. He looked brand new, remade, reborn even, man as he should be and her breath halted in her chest when he took the soap from her grip.

Still erect he moved around her, taking off her clothing, folding it neatly on top of his own until she too was naked under the flashing sky. Eyes dark he took the water cup and drenched her over, letting her stand in his footprints. The imprint of his feet dwarfing her own and yet it made her feel safe, as the soap passed over her skin she kept feeling his heartbeat throbbing out at her. Slicked up with soap as his touch on her skin slicked her sex just as quickly. Taking the cup in hand he washed her down, just as reverently, taking care of her, showing her his love. Rinsing the suds from her skin, leaving the wind to touch her, wrap her in arms of coolness that made her skin pebble after being doused in warm water.

Picking her up from the ass Marie moved her legs around his waist, feeling him nudging at her sex from below as she sought his mouth. Walking a little way forward Logan let her drop down onto him, sliding into her sex and muffling her squeak with his tongue. His feet were in the cool ashes, the death bed of Xavier while he was sheathed in Marie. Both of them hungry for the other, movements became frenzied as she climbed on him, his hands locked to her ass as he spread her weight while letting her drive. It wouldn't be long, they both knew that but they had the rest of the night ahead of them. This was only the first of many.
Marie bit his shoulder as came, her sex squeezing him tight inside her, his throat rumbling as he spilled his seed into her hungry sex. Knowing she would be ready again in minutes, locked together for a moment their gaze lost in each other. They'd survived this far, they would tomorrow and the day after and the one after that.

They were alive, they had each other and they were *free*, free of one enemy but they both knew of others. Dressed in army green, they would never forget them but they would make taking them a very nasty prospect. Yet for now they had peace, space and the night and it would be enough.
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