ghost_hare_22 (ghost_hare_22) wrote in gh22_fanfic,


Logan / Marie fic
Type - Angst
Rating - PG15
Universe - Post X3

Summary - Marie gets to help Logan work a few things out of his head

She'd seen them come home, Storm was a mess, her eyes still blazing with the anger that still hadn't faded now it was a week later.
Bobby had just camped out in Kitty's room from the get-go, she'd tried to go up there but her steps had just faultered and stuck as soon as she got to the end of the hallway. Pete had tried to talk to her, he'd told her about the mission and what they'd had to do to Magneto and John. She'd held him then, her skin still covered, still hidden.

It had been Storm who'd told her Logan was home, that he was back. She'd been in the study helping to organise the new kids that had come in with the new term. She'd just pointed her in the direction of the danger room and left her to it. Storm knew she hadn't taken the cure but her decision had left them short-handed when they could have done with her help. It was something she still regretted but when it had come down to it she'd been glad she hadn't been there in the end. Logan would've been distracted looking out for her, he'd needed to be vicious that night and he had been and it had kept them all alive.

So now she owed him and Storm was calling the debt for him, for them all. Going up to the observation room she could see the simulation running, it was the night at Alcatraz. She watched him go through it seven times before she could stop crying at the pain he was putting himself through. He was trying anyway possible to save Jean, to have helped her control the power she was inside.

The truth about her had come out from Bobby, what she was really capable of and it had been Hank who had spoken the most about the creature Jean had been hiding under the surface of her skin. It had struck her to the bone about how similar Jean and Logan had been, that she'd been controlled by Xavier like Logan had been by the military. That the Wolverine in him had been attracted to the power underneath the calm facade Jean had built, one that he'd been able to recognise because of the one he'd built in himself. The thought's of what they could've done together both Wolverine and Phoenix were enough to keep her awake a couple of nights running. She understood now, why he'd been willing to let her go and make her own mistake. Let her go when she knew he hadn't wanted her to go for some other reason like a boy's love. She'd had to go for herself and in the end when it had come to the glistening needle poised over her flesh she'd refused it. The memory of other needles and pain flashing into her mind telling her of her worthlessness to those holding the 'cure' for all that she was. There was no 'cure' for her, she was what she was and that was the end of it. But it had taken her the journey to the clinic and the look of disdain in the eye of the doctor to convince her of it.

She typed in the command Storm had given her, blocking off the system to Logan, denying his voice commands, leaving him in the blank space for her.
When she got down there she heard his screams, his ranting, his rage as he continued to scream his rage at the world. Opening the doors she entered, making sure to lock them down after her, they had an hour before they'd open automatically.

He spun round claws drawn, uniform shredded and his body heaving. Eye's narrowed he took in her clothes, the thick jumper that covered her neck and hands, the trousers and socks. Even her hair was down protecting someone if they just happened to brush by by accident. "You've got to stop Logan." He turned his back on her showing her an expanse of newly healed skin, his breath coming in fits and starts. Moving toward him she let her voice reach him before she did, "Ah didn't do it. Ah couldn't, not when ah got there and saw the look in their eyes, those that had taken it. It didn't make them any different Logan, just the same people with the same problems." Her gloved hand touched the skin of his back and she felt him try to move away from her touch. "Ah'm sorry ah wasn't there Logan, ya'll needed me and ah ran to something that ah didn't think about until ah was there. Ah let ya down an' ah wasn't there for ya when ya needed me." The tears she'd managed to keep dammed up were finally able to be free here. Away from everyone else, from the looks of anger that others had sent her when the truth had come out of where she'd gone and why. Hate is a two edged sword and she'd seen enough in the eyes of the people here to last a lifetime. The last thing she needed was to see it in Logan's gaze, dropping her hand she walked away from him. Her ears picking up his own sadness beginning to break free from the anger he'd hidden it under.

The next thing she knew she was in his arms on the floor of the danger room. Her body wrapped up in his, her arms around his back her face huddled in the remains of his uniform. The smell of him something she'd missed, the way his hair felt under her gloves. Through her tears she managed to speak, telling him how sorry she was, that she wasn't there for him, hadn't been there for him, hadn't cared about him when all he'd ever done was care about her well being.
His own face was lodged in her hair, the depth of it still not enough to muffle his cries of pain as he rocked them back and forth. Just to be held, to have something to hang onto enough for now. The way his hands tightened on her when she spoke to him, when she apologised for hurting him, for leaving him when he needed her. Shaking his head he pulled his face up for her to see, all he said was 'No'. Touching her face with the ruined gloves of his uniform, careful not to touch her with bare skin, seeing the pain residing in his eyes, knowing it was too much for him to bear alone.

Nodding she made up her mind, her voice quiet as she shifted her sleeve baring a piece of skin. "Yes Logan, let me help you please, ya'll know you'll never say it but ah'm offering Logan. Ah don't care about the dreams as long as ya'll have one person who'll understand what ya goin through." He didn't move as she shifted her skin to his, the drain immediate, hungry almost as the information flooded through her. The fight, the meeting with Magneto, knowing Jean had killed the Professor and Scott, finding her at the lake, their training and the feeling of pride he'd had at her abilities, but underneath it all was the Wolverine; angry at her for choosing someone else, someone who wasn't him.

The drain had left Logan weakened but not out, pulling the skin covered she let the images settle down before talking to him in small whispers. Telling him what she thought about it all, being adult not a child about it. He held her to him throughout it all and the door had opened hours ago but it didn't matter. He had someone again, a link to life, someone who understood him and welcomed him as he was, claws and all.

Pete switched off the camera down in the Danger Room, he left the observation room and quietly went back upstairs. What he'd seen had given him some hope that maybe one day soon they'd both be willing to feel again. An maybe they'd find the other half that was waiting for them in the other person they were holding but for now it'd have to do.
Let me know what you think of this one....
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